Month: Jun 2021

Activities · Art · Chronic Illness · Hobbies · Mental Health · Tattoos

My Favourite Tattoo Ideas to Represent Chronic Illness

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We are in that week of the month where we focus on a chronic illness theme and I have decided that this month I am going to focus on a hobby: Tattoos. Technically tattoos may not be considered a hobby, but designing them and researching them very much can be.

Disclaimer – You should always check with your doctor before getting a tattoo to ensure it is appropriate for you and your conditions – remember everyone is different, so you shouldn’t assume because someone with your condition has had one and was fine, that you will be the same.

It’s important to note at this stage, that not all people are able to get tattoos, or want them even, and in some cases certain conditions may not tolerate tattoos full stop. If you are one of these people don’t be disheartened, tattoos can still give you inspiration in terms of pictures to create, or cute symbols to wear in the form of jewellery and clothing, and even crafting ideas.

If you are someone who can have a tattoo remember to always do your research first, check with your doctor to see if you are able to get one, think about size in order to minimalize pain etc. (tiny tattoos are very in style these days and are great if you want them covered up easily), and always make sure you visit an artist with an excellent reputation and with all the relevant hygiene procedures in place. This is extremely important as tattoos can cause infections if not performed in hygienic environments with professional tattooists.

I personally have two tattoos – the first before I became ill and the second a few years into my illnesses. Both represent things important to me with the second being representative of my chronic illness life. You wouldn’t know it to look at it, but I know it which makes it that much more special. Several years down the line and a few more chronic condition onto the list, I would one day like to get another one to represent where I am with it all now, (although I would need to check first if it is advisable with my newer conditions), and so the list of my favourite chronic illness symbols was formed…

1. The Sun – The sun is something that always puts a smile on people’s faces. It also represents coming out of the dark into the light, and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

2. A Wave – This sounded a bit strange to me at first, but a wave is a symbol of the ocean which automatically represents a level of tranquillity for me and happier memories. The ocean also conjures images of movement and therefore life moving on no matter what.

3. An Anchor – Sticking with the water theme, anchor tattoos can be extremely dainty and cute, yet have a powerful message behind them. They can symbolise stability and strength, a great reminder of those things that keep us anchored in our lives.

4. Quotes – As a lover of the written word, I can often find words bring more meaning to me than pictures, and I am a big fan of a cliché positive statement or quote. Quotes can be generic chronic illness phrases that represent hope or strength, or they can be something completely personal to you from within your own family – it doesn’t matter as long as it is relevant to you and your journey.

Photo by Lucas Guimaru00e3es on Pexels.com

5. A Compass – A compass spoke to my mental health struggles as it symbolises going in the right direction and something to aid me in never feeling lost. It also represents travel and journeys which let’s face it with chronic illness and/or mental health is definitely an eventful one.

6. Awareness Related – For those of us who want to wear our conditions with pride specific awareness tattoos are a must. These can be used in a variety of formats from the spelling of your condition, to awareness ribbons in the colour of your specific illness, to condition related symbols e.g. butterflies/zebras

7. Butterflies/Wings – So speaking of butterflies.. I actually think butterflies in general are a lovely idea regardless of whether they represent your specific chronic illness or not. Butterflies can represent freedom and transformation, whereas wings can indicate a need to release yourself from whatever holds you back and be free.

8. An Arrow – For me an arrow represents moving forward, and can be a great tattoo to have independently or as part of another design. Chronic illness may be a regular companion in our lives, but it is so important to look to the future regardless and have hope for what is to come.

9. A Lion – There are so many animal tattoos you can get to acknowledge strength, but for me nothing says it more than a lion. Not only does it indicate strength but courage too. Courage to keep going day after day regardless of what we face.

10. An Ampersand – The ampersand is the ‘and’ symbol on your keyboard. To begin with this may seem strange, but to me the meaning is so fitting. When we use an ampersand in writing we are saying ‘it isn’t the end’ and that ‘there is more’ – chronic illness is not the end and there is a hell of a lot more to me than illnesses and it is about time people realised that!

Here we have it my top tattoo (or creative pictures/symbol for clothing/jewellery/crafting) ideas. Which would you pick to represent your life with chronic illness? What designs do you have?

Sarah xx

Chronic Illness · Diagnosis · Gaslighting · Personal

Why Hasn’t Receiving a Diagnosis Changed My Doctor’s Opinion on My Health?

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This week I wanted to talk about a topic that has bothered me for a long time, which has recently been re-ignited – My doctor (GP) believing there is nothing significantly wrong with me despite several diagnoses.

Let me start off by saying I think GP’s get a lot of stick which a lot of time is unwarranted. GP’s are generalists, they cannot be expected to know everything about every condition going hence the need for specialists. Saying that in my opinion they still have a duty of care to listen to patients concerns, and I naively believed once you received a diagnosis and had a specialist saying there was something wrong ,they would listen more .. or not.

I was gaslighted by many a GP for several years before receiving any of my diagnoses. This constant barrage of being told I was stressed, depressed, anxious and just frankly over the top. Every appointment I attended I was made to believe I was time-wasting. Until one day I went to a neurologist and received diagnosis number one. Then several years later saw a rheumatologist and received diagnosis two. A year later another neurologist for diagnosis three. Another year diagnosis four and finally 18 months ago another rheumatologist for diagnosis number five. Five separate diagnoses for five separate conditions made by five separate specialists and my GP never batted an eyelid.

To this day my GPs still refer to my symptoms as nothing to be concerned about. My conditions as low level diseases, and any query I have about them is quickly dismissed. I have even had GPs disregard what specialists have told me claiming it isn’t as bad as it has been painted. If this wasn’t enough, they ignore my constant irregular blood results and fail to monitor me on my medication – but why?

This last week alone I had symptoms that bothered me which I had to request blood tests for, because my GP hadn’t been monitoring me. That didn’t bother me because what’s makes me special? I am no more important than the next person in the queue. What bothered me though, is the fact my bloods were abnormal and no-one bothered to tell me, or check my medication, and that’s what I struggle with – why it doesn’t matter. Why it doesn’t matter when they have it all over my notes I am living with multiple conditions, and that I am being investigated for another condition for which things like blood results are important.

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Is it because they are too busy? Is it because I live with invisible illnesses and therefore don’t look ill? Is it because I am not their ideology of an unwell person? Is it because they are still holding on to their misconceptions of me before my diagnoses? Or is it because in their great handbook of conditions they simply don’t view mine as important?

I don’t know what I thought would happen once I was diagnosed, but a bit of respect would be nice. I might even push the boat out and say I thought I might start being believed, but maybe that is too much of an ask. Being diagnosed hasn’t changed anything in my doctors’ eyes, in fact in some ways it has made the gaslighting worse. Because by having diagnoses my doctors cling onto them whenever new symptoms are experienced, and explain away anything new as part and parcel of what I already have. This would be fine of course if these new symptoms were just that – part of my other conditions – but it was this dismissive behaviour that meant my latest condition was missed. It felt like being a thirty something year old they refused to believe I can have multiple things wrong. But guess what I can and I do, just like many others.

People don’t choose to be ill, and age isn’t a factor when it comes to becoming ill which is why chronic illness discrimination in people under the age of 50 has to stop. Chronic illness can occur in any person at any time in their lives and GPs need to understand this. Being young doesn’t make you less susceptible to illness, less likely with to develop certain conditions maybe, but age doesn’t make you immune.

Maybe the crux of the problem is not just age, but chronic illness in general. Maybe too many a doctor has been told to read the ‘self-manage’ riot act to any person with an incurable condition, and as a result have lost touch with the feelings behind this. Sadly, I think GPs sometimes think it is only having a life-limiting condition that is relevant, but having conditions that are life-altering are also significant. The mental health implications of life-altering conditions are significant.

So what would I like to see in an ideal world? In an ideal world I would like GPs to offer patients’ the respect they deserve. Whether a GP believes a condition is serious or not is irrelevant because it is serious to the patient, and they are the ones living with it everyday. It may not be their job to find solutions (and with chronic illness they can’t), but it doesn’t stop them taking a phone call – and it definitely doesn’t stop them explaining an abnormal blood result – what’s more it doesn’t stop them from showing compassion.

Do you still have struggles with your GP after diagnosis? I would love to hear other people’s experiences if you would like to share.

Sarah xx

Awareness · Mental Health · Tourette Syndrome

The Mental Health Impact of Living With Tourette’s

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Another month and another awareness event – this time we are talking Tourette Syndrome – TS (15th May – 15th June).

For anyone reading this thinking ‘ahh this has no relevance to me, I’ll just skip this post,’ I encourage you to think again. I say this because isn’t this what awareness is all about, learning about conditions which you may not have known about before? I am aware that my Tourette’s posts are the least viewed content on my blog and this makes me sad, because as far as conditions go my Tourette’s is just as relevant as all my other conditions and therefore it is important for me to write about this as much as anything else.

If you are still here then thank you, I appreciate you sticking around and wanting to learn more about my ticking world. Today I wanted to talk to you not about my life with tics (you can read more on this here), but the mental health impact of living with such a condition.

Like with any condition we all deal with it in various ways and TS is no different. Some sufferers use humour, others shy away and some people really find it difficult to accept it into their lives. I am someone who accepts my tics and embrace them as a part of who I am, I can even laugh about it from time to time (with close family), nevertheless I suppress my tics in public due to the negative feedback I have received from others. I have had people laugh, stare, point and be disgusted simply by me mentioning the fact I tic.

Examples of times I have had someone ridicule my TS include:

A former work colleague telling me she was glad I suppressed my tics to save the embarrassment and distraction for everyone else.

A new job revoking my position once they found out I had TS. One minute I was filling out the paperwork being told my hours, the next I was being told the job was no longer available (after he read the ‘any health conditions’ section).

Another example of indirect taunting was after a dating show on television featuring someone with tics had aired. This person showed so much bravery going onto a programme to find love with their tics and yet I had colleagues sat on another desk laughing about it. They didn’t know I was a fellow sufferer, but that wasn’t the point. These people were supposedly educated, clever individuals and yet they were mocking someone from my community for being different.

I would like to say these were the only occasions, but sadly the list goes on…

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Looking back I wish I’d had the strength to stand-up in these times of discrimination, but instead I concealed my TS more, bowing down to ableist views on the world. Saying that though should I have had to stand up, or should others be more aware of their behaviour towards people who are not the same as them?

Having a condition that people would prefer you kept to myself because of others discomfort, or that people laugh about has a huge impact on mental health. Not only because it makes you want to change yourself to please others, but because by mocking sufferers the message being sent out in the world is that TS is not a serious condition. Tourette’s is a neurological condition which can be painful, tiring and in some cases life-altering – would people laugh at other neurological conditions in the same vein? Do people openly make fun of other people in pain and fatigue, by making them the punch-line in an insensitive gag? Some of you may think yes, but as someone with a multitude of conditions with these type of symptoms it really isn’t in the same ballpark.

We now live in a world where mental health is finally being given the recognition it deserves, so isn’t it time we start considering how our own behaviour can have an impact on how someone else feels.

Taking inspiration from the Tourette’s Association’s shareable stories I wanted to say Tourette’s isn’t a punchline, a quip, an excuse or a slur it is a mark of determination, bravery and courage. The determination of a teenage sitting their exams whilst battling to concentrate, the bravery of a man opening up to his date for the first time, the courage of a young woman telling her potential employer about her condition then getting overlooked anyway.

With all this said, I wanted to finish off this post by asking anyone reading this to take the Tourette’s pledge. A pledge to stop using Tourette’s as a slur or a punchline. A pledge to see Tourette’s as a condition that is as important as any other. A pledge to help us break free of the stigma. A pledge to show others they are accepted for who they are and not what their tics do.

Thank you for your support 💕

Sarah xx