Have you ever had a medical professional gaslight you? Put you down? Criticise something you have said? Or simply dismiss your concerns about your health like they were nothing? Yes? Then you are not alone. I cannot tell you the number of times this has happened to me and whilst some of these comments I have been able to put down as one of those things, others left me reeling.

So in this week’s blog post I thought I would share some of these statements with you. This is not to slate the medical profession because for the most part they do a fantastic job, this is purely to demonstrate how destructive dismissive words can be.

So let me begin…

If you are feeling depressed, then why don’t you look at the Christmas tree lights?

Now, this first remark was said to me I believe in good faith, however it felt extremely rude when I was sat in the GP’s surgery at the time talking about my depression/anxiety recovery. Predominately because it felt like my mental health issues were being discussed like it was nothing, like they could be turned on and off like a tap from doing something as simple as looking at pretty lights. No productive advice was given alongside this, just embarrassment from myself for talking about it in the first place.

You have taken up an appointment/I don’t know why you are at this clinic

I have actually had these two sentences said to me more than once after being sent to various clinics in search of my chronic illness diagnoses. Whilst I understand this can be frustrating to the consultant you have been sent to if they feel like are in the wrong clinic, to say you have taken up an appointment is unacceptable. Just because my conditions didn’t necessarily match up with their expertise doesn’t make my conditions or symptoms any less worthy of investigation, and by saying this it made me want the floor to swallow up like I should be apologising for wasting their precious time.

Critiques on my appearance

I haven’t pinpointed a specific observation on this, however over the years I have had many medical people mention my appearance in a patronising tone. How is this relevant to my health – I have no idea. The worst was probably a consultant who made a point of telling me I had a half closed eye (similar to a lazy eye), to which I listened to him eagerly thinking it was linked to my condition, before a wall of silence. He was merely pointing it out like I had never used a mirror before because he felt like it. I was hoping to leave with a diagnosis or at the very least advice instead I left with a complex.

Most women would be grateful they are bleeding less

My periods have been a source of many an issue for a very long time now with one of the first changes being in my menstrual flow. When I went to my GP she told me I should think myself lucky and that most women would be grateful. Never mind all the other symptoms I had or the fact I was only in my twenties at the time and I was concerned they would stop altogether. She sent me away pretty much telling me to get a grip and here I am 5/6 years later waiting to see an gynaecologist because being grateful and thinking myself lucky has left me potentially very unlucky indeed.

I am the doctor, not you

This beauty of a reflection came from my former neurologist who refused to listen to my concerns about being diagnosed as epileptic. I didn’t match the criteria or have the relevant symptoms and my scans were relatively normal yet he was convinced my episodes were epileptic seizures. When asked questions he told me he was the doctor not me and that he knew what he was talking about and I didn’t. I got a second opinion and in my first appointment was told I didn’t under any circumstances have epilepsy. A few appointments later I was diagnosed with Tourettes something my former neurologist could have diagnosed if pride hadn’t stood in the way.

Here we have it five of my most scathing comments from medical professionals. The sad thing is I have many more as I am sure others do too. The general theme I feel from these remarks is a sense of being negatively judged whether it is from my personal appearance to my physical symptoms. The underlying feeling I got was I was time wasting, that it or maybe more accurately I wasn’t worth the respect of proper answers, that I should get on with things.

Like I said at the start this isn’t always the case there are some amazing health experts out there willing to listen, to care and to advice. I am living proof this is the case as I wouldn’t be sat here now with the diagnoses I have otherwise. However, words have power and we should all be thinking how we use them regardless of what profession we are in.

Sarah xx