Category: Symptoms

Catch Up · Chronic Illness · Mental Health · Personal · Symptoms · Women's Health

Catch Up with Me, Myself and Chronic Illness – September 2022

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TW – Discussion on mental health – please refrain from reading if this isn’t a topic suitable for you at this time.

I cannot believe it has been approximately two months since I said hello. This has been the longest time I have ever been away from here. With this in mind I think today would be an appropriate time for us to have a good old catch up. Having a catch up can only mean one thing – I have been struggling. I say this because when I have been through periods of struggle this is how I get back on track, I come back on here, have a therapeutic rundown of what’s gone on and try to move forward. I guess you could say this place is my therapy.

I feel I am going to repeat myself for the hundredth time by saying my health has been very up and down again, but sadly it’s the truth. Well maybe not exactly the truth because I am starting to see some patterns in my symptoms in relation to one of my conditions. So whilst it is very up and down I can for some part see it coming. This is great I would have once told myself, but actually knowing makes zero difference because I cannot stop it or ease it even, I just have to get through. And I’ll be honest there are times when I don’t know if I can.

One of the most difficult things regarding this condition (an undiagnosed gynaecological issue) is that the flare up is taking two – two half weeks of my month every month – and this is without my other conditions. If you follow me on social media you will see me regularly posting that ‘I am trying to get on top of messages and comments’ or that ‘I have been in another flare’ because in reality for big portions of this time I am just too ill to function.

Without going into too much detail the flare up follows a regular pattern of symptoms with various stages of severity, and the final stage is torture. This part includes fatigue, exhaustion, headaches, foggy head all rolled into one that is so severe my mental health goes to an all time low, and when my mental health dips that’s when I am in trouble. I say this because whilst my physical symptoms dramatically affect my life, I can still escape in my head. Escape for me comes in the form of writing, reading, crafting, even daydreaming. When fatigue and foggy brain hit alongside a real alteration in my hormones, I cannot do this things – I cannot look at a screen, I cannot see words in a book and therefore my escape is gone, and I am left alone with my thoughts. Not just thoughts actually, but a real lack of motivation, or interest in much at all, and at times it gets quite dark. To a point where I didn’t even know if I wanted to blog anymore. That anything I had to say was boring or pointless, or that any idea I had I was unable to articulate in the right way so why bother.

I think essentially the over-riding feeling I feel in these episodes is one of being trapped, not knowing where I am going to go and what I am going to do with my life whilst in this body. The what’s, the if’s and the maybe’s. But then the fatigue and exhaustion lifts, the hormones balance out again and the fog subsides and then things seem brighter again and my mental health slowly goes back to my normal.

The problem is I know it will probably be the case again next month. It’s ok, but not ok if you know what I mean. I guess I am happy that I have identified it, so when (or let’s be positive – if) it happens again I know it is hormonal and therefore it will pass. I just need to hold on to the fact I will get through to the other side even if it does take time.

I won’t lie though because I know the pattern with this particular condition, I am beating myself up something chronic (excuse the pun!) to get back on track. Because I already know I have approximately a week before the start of my symptoms begin again, and I feel this overwhelming need to make the most of now. Of course, I cannot predict if my other conditions are going to cause problems during this time, but even so I feel I need to do something before I can’t. I am pressurising myself because good days are becoming less, and I don’t want them to be.

Photo by Kristina Paukshtite on Pexels.com

On top of this my household has suddenly decided now would be an excellent time to move house. Right when I am struggling and right at the time of year when things like my Fibro tend to get worse. The thing is there is never going to be a perfect time but it is just another stressor my body has to contend with. I have no proper place to write from, there are just boxes everywhere, and my Tourette’s is having a field day.

There are a few other things I am having to deal with that I may or may not share at a later date – it’s just a lot right now.

I hope this doesn’t sound like a rant. I feel this has been a bit all over the place, a bit like my head. Part of me thought about deleting it and starting again or just leaving it altogether, but then I thought why? This blog is supposed to be about the reality of living with chronic illness, and right now this is my reality.

This entry today has been more to refocus myself than anybody else let’s be honest. To help me move forward. Like I said at the start; this blog is my therapy.

I know I need to be kind to myself. But sometimes it is hard. It’s a time thing, a take it day by day thing. It will come, it always does.

In all honesty with a move on the cards and this consistent cycle of ill health I cannot say for sure when I will be back again. Hopefully it won’t be too long and you will stick around for when I do.

I hope if you have read this today that all is well for you, and at the very least you know you are not alone.

Sarah xx

Chronic Illness · Mental Health · Symptoms

Mental Health and Chronic Illness – Part 2 – Yourself, Uncertainties and Managing Symptoms

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TW – This post talks about mental health struggles surrounding chronic illness, which includes feelings of self-hate. Please click off this post if this is something not suitable for you at this time and check out one of my many other posts.

Here we are on part 2 of my mental health and chronic illness post. In the first post we covered the mental health issue surrounding other people which you can read here, so let us move on to the next point…

Mental health and chronic illness with regards to yourself

The next hurdle in the mental health battle of chronic illness is the opinion chronically ill people hold of themselves. When I first became ill, I hated myself. I hated myself for allowing my body to let me down, for being so weak and not being able to get on with things like everyone else around me could. All I could see was how much my life had changed, and how much I didn’t want it to. So, I pressed on and struggled, falling multiple times mentally in the process because I didn’t want this chronic illness life to my truth.

The thing is what people don’t understand with chronic illness is the notion that you are grieving. You are grieving for a life that can no longer be lived in the way you had hoped, you are essentially saying goodbye to a part of you that you can never get back – not if you want to stay as well as you possibly can anyway.

Grieving as a result of chronic illness varies from person to person, with some people never experiencing this process, but for me personally it was a process that took several years. Most of this time was spent in the denial, anger and bargaining stages – wow didn’t I spend a long time in denial! I couldn’t and wouldn’t accept this was going to be my life going forward. Instead I adopted the mentality that if I could push for answers and force myself to continue as normal (like a lot of health professionals suggest), I could push through the worst and find this miracle cure we are all seeking. This wasn’t the case and as a result I actually made myself worse.

Nevertheless, slowly but surely I found my way to acceptance and when I did the mental health relief I felt was immense. There was light at the end of the tunnel, even if indeed no cure. With acceptance I stopped the hate I felt about myself and recognised just how strong I was to be living with multiple chronic illnesses every day. With the subsidence of hate came the lifting of the blame. It wasn’t my fault the hand I had been dealt, but it was ok to feel sad, to have days where I cried and struggled, it didn’t make me weak – it just made me human.

Of course acceptance has it draws back, as with anything in life because with acceptance comes the fear you are giving up. To accept I am ill felt like I was saying I admit there is no miracle waiting for me, and for some this indicates that the fight is over, the flag has been waved. Even in my most recent times of acceptance I have felt this way, if I am not fighting for my health then what I am I fighting for? Chronic Illness has stolen so much from my life, my ability to work, have a family, a relationship, to socialise, to accept this does it mean I am waving goodbye to ever having those things?

I think not, instead I think I accept these things won’t be easy and that they will probably look very different to those around me with those things. I can still fight for my health, but through awareness and advocacy and trying to help others in the same boat.

Photo by Vie Studio on Pexels.com

Mental health and chronic illness with regards to uncertainties and missing out

The mental health impact of not being able to work, have an independent life, and live like anyone else my age is a very real worry, and although I have accepted I am ill it doesn’t actually stop the anxiety of missing out on life.

In life we are conditioned rightly or wrongly to believe our road to happiness is on one particular path. School, education, good job, partner, marriage, home, children – in some kind of order is something the majority of people aim for. Chronic illness makes all of these things difficult. Endless symptoms stop you from working (or at least working full time), this impacts your finances and therefore your ability to move out of your family home. It can also impact your ability to socialise and therefore meet new people putting the brakes on potential relationships and marriage and children. Of course, this is not the case for everyone and there is no clear cut way of living life – not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be a parent for example – but chronic illness is a hinderance to almost all scenarios rather than a help. Being chronically ill doesn’t magic away those natural desires for experiences in life, so how do you combat the anxiety of not having those things?

The truth is the anxiety doesn’t just disappear, it is about viewing it in a slightly different way. It is about making changes to those areas of life and experiencing them differently to how I had planned in order to compensate my physical illnesses, but to feel I am still achieving.

Mental health and chronic illness with regards to managing symptoms

The final hurdle I am going to tackle is the mental health effect of dealing with physical symptoms on a daily basis. Feeling ill most days if not all is draining. It takes it out of you each and every day and it can be hard to keep getting back up from another hit physically.

On top of this the majority of advice you are given is predominantly self-management of all physical symptoms in the form of pacing and diet to name a few, but how do you self-manage the mental health implications?

Nobody tells you the effect physical symptoms can bring psychologically, and how the relentlessness can be a tiring cycle of sleep, eat, be ill, repeat. We are left to our own devices, our own interpretations of what coping is. Nobody can predict how they will react, but I can assure you telling people to look on the bright side, or that things could be worse is probably not the answer.

In conclusion

With all these mental health challenges said and done, I can say on a personal level chronic illness has shown me I have a strength I never knew possible, but this didn’t happen overnight. It has made me more resilient, more understanding to the needs of others and has shaped me as a person. On my good days it makes me appreciate the smaller things in life because they matter so much more now. On my bad, maybe not so much, but I always try to think of tomorrow as a chance to try again.

I will probably always struggle with mental health in relation to chronic illness, but that’s ok – it’s hard not to. My hope is simply that the conversation is ignited more, and that there is an understanding of the mental struggles as well as the physical. That people know they are not alone in how they are feeling at times.

I hope this post wasn’t too long for anyone – and a massive thank you if you made it to the end. As always feel free to leave a comment, and if you fancy you can follow me to keep up to date with any new posts.

Sarah xx

Chronic Illness · Dilemmas · Fibromyalgia · ME/CFS · Mental Health · PCOS · Symptoms · Tourette Syndrome · UCTD

The Difficulty of Living with Multiple Chronic Illnesses – My Top 5 Dilemmas

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It has been a few weeks since my last blog post, but I am back hoping that this week is going to be a better week symptom wise. The last few weeks have been an endless cycle of condition and symptom flare-ups, to a point where I do not know anymore which condition is the cause at any one time.

This has inspired my blog post topic for today – The Difficulty of Living with Multiple Chronic Illnesses. As all of us know living with even one chronic condition is a tough battle, but living with multiple really sends your head into a spin. This is for many reasons from the fact you never get true respite from feeling ill – as once one condition calms down another or others start to flare-up – to having specific symptoms from each condition fight against each other to make you feel that much worse or bring that much more intensity.

This is made much harder when you live with polar opposite conditions. Essentially conditions that require very different self- management techniques to get by. I personally find this so draining and confusing and often find myself in positions of fundamentally having to choose between which symptom is affecting me more in that moment in time, and therefore having to decide which symptom to tackle or ignore.

I thought I would share with you today the top issues I face with opposing conditions and demonstrate just how my multiple chronic illnesses interact with each other.

Dilemma Number 1 – Body Temperature Issues

My first dilemma is how to regulate my body temperature. Living with Raynaud’s I find I am freezing cold the majority of the time, no matter what I wear or what I am doing. My hands and feet generally tend to be like blocks of ice – my circulation is awful. I am cold to the touch and at times this can sink into my bones. Yet, living with PCOS and other menstrual problems I can encounter deep internal hot flushes which can leave me feeling faint and nauseous. My internal body can be boiling whilst my physical body is freezing making simple tasks such as showering or deciding what to wear a nuisance.

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Dilemma Number 2 – Managing Fatigue

Fatigue, exhaustion, absolute pain in the ass – what ever you want to call it – has, is, and will always be my number one nightmare symptom. There is nothing worse than feeling so weak you cannot complete simple every day tasks. Every single one of my conditions has fatigue connected to it, yet they require me to deal with it in very different ways. ME, Fibromyalgia, UCTD, and PCOS all require me to pace, rest and slow down. However, Tourette’s makes that near impossible at times. Holding tics in makes my Tourette’s worse so I need to get them out, I need to move, I need to be frantic, I need to throw my hands and legs, I need to walk – all of which is a contradiction to my other conditions and how it is advised I manage my fatigue levels.

Dilemma Number 3 – Pacing

This dilemma is more of a physical vs. mental dilemma. My physical conditions all require me to pace my days to try and prevent flare-ups in my symptoms. To stop me having those crash days several days later where I cannot do anything of any use other than exist. Yet, as someone who has experienced mental health problems I know how important it is to keep my mind active and to live in the moment. And I guess sometimes to feel like anyone else. Pacing sometimes stops me doing this, it makes me have to plan, to analyse, to weigh up whether it is worth it. It makes me have to choose what matters more – physical or mental wellbeing?

Dilemma Number 4 – Exercise

Exercise is a real ‘I don’t have the answer’ scenario. It is no secret that in the world of ME exercise can make you feel worse and in my personal case this is very true. I find it brings on flares of extreme exhaustion and bouts of nausea and dizziness and can wipe me out for huge amounts of time. However, living with Fibromyalgia it is important to keep my muscles supple, and living with UCTD to keep my joints moving. If that wasn’t enough living with PCOS, weight gain is a lovely unwanted symptom, which of course isn’t helped by lack of movement. Finding a balance is near impossible and at this moment in time the ME exhaustion is kind of taking the reigns.

Dilemma Number 5 – Sun Exposure

This dilemma is one of the most difficult dilemmas I have faced this year for a whole host of reasons. Predominantly because like with many people with chronic illnesses (and people in general) I need vitamin D. In fact a few years ago I was so low in vitamin D it was deemed a significant problem. This was rectified by vitamin D supplements, that was until I developed hypercalcemia and had to stop them. This has meant getting outside in the sunlight has been crucial to stopping my levels dropping again. Getting outside has been difficult for me anyway due to condition flare-ups and a small thing like a pandemic, but now my UCTD has made this an even bigger problem. Developing UCTD I have to be careful to sun exposure and have to be protected at all times – in a nutshell I have to stay out of the sun. Note to self – need vitamin D – but cannot take supplements – and cannot get in the sun – right, got it, amazing!

Here we have my top 5 dilemmas when living with multiple chronic illnesses. The reality is we are all living with a variety of conditions that affect us all in very different ways, so we will never be like for like with each other. I wonder how many you can relate to, or if you have any of your own.

Sarah xx

Chronic Illness · Dating · Single Life · Single Life Series · Symptoms · Tips

Chronic Illness and the Single Life Series – The Challenges of Dating – Part 2

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It’s another week and another blog post, and today we are continuing with our single life series and part 2 of the challenges of dating. For anyone who missed part 1 you can find it here.

Last time we covered the challenges of how to find a date and when to tell someone about your illness, this time we are looking at the challenge of how to handle a date and how to manage symptoms when on a date.

Challenge 3 – Handling a date

So you have secured a date (well done you), and you may or may not have made them aware of your condition/s, but now you have the tricky task of getting through the date, symptoms and all. The problem with a first date is it can be stressful whether you realise it or not, and the problem with chronic illness is the fact it loves to feed off stress. You may be thinking well what is the point then, but you really shouldn’t allow this to put you off.

Probably the most stressful part of a date is the fear of the unknown, the loss of control in knowing what is to come, so why not take back some of the control and take the lead in the actual date planning yourself. By taking the lead in planning your date you can be prepared for any potential issues that may arise and try to work around them before they happen. Going forward once you are more comfortable with your date and vice versa you can let them take more of the reins as hopefully the stress will subside, and they will understand your needs better.

By planning the date yourself you can look at factors which are more inline with what your chronic illness requirements are. Do you find your energy dips as the day goes on? Then opt for a daytime date. Are your pain levels high? Then choose an activity where you are sitting down. Feeling lethargic? Then sitting in a warm indoor environment probably won’t help, so why not suggest going for a gentle walk? Is eating a problem? Why not plan around that incorporating or leaving out food depending on your needs? Personally for me I have digestion issues so eating whilst stressed is not a great idea when I get mega bloating, but equally I have several times a day where I have to take medication with food, so maybe a snack rather than a four course meal would be a good middle ground.

I want to also point out that with current Covid times it is not possible for everyone to just go out on a date. I would class myself as one of those people, yet this doesn’t mean you or I need to miss out. As I mentioned in my last post there are many interactive things you can do online, or simply having a virtual date over video chat is more than enough. You can even set the scene to how you would like it – all from the comfort of your own home. Alternatively if you want to meet in person (and it is safe to) opt for outdoor settings still basing it on your needs.

Another key element to handling a date is to set yourself a time limit. Now you can choose to tell the other person this or just keep it to yourself to give yourself a target. Give yourself a realistic timescale based on how much energy you think you will use and try to bring it to a close before it gets too much. But most importantly stick to it! It can be difficult when you are getting on with someone to want to leave, but if you know your body needs it there is no harm in making sure it finishes when you planned it to. Plus, if you like each other that won’t matter in the long run as all you need to do is arrange to speak again.

Of course, as with all things it is personal choice – our bodies are all different and we all tolerate things at different levels. You may feel the payback is worth it or equally you may want to end the date even sooner than you planned due to any aggravating symptoms – there is no right or wrong.

Challenge 4 – Managing symptoms on a date

Let’s be honest for a minute – you can plan, plan, plan and still be symptom overloaded. So, what if this happens? My suggestions are as follows:

  • Do a bit more planning (ahhh! This is never-ending!), and try to rest up the day before, and prior to the date
  • Take any aids you need with you on the date e.g. medications
  • Research menus if in a scenario where you will be eating
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  • Take time out on your own – Just because you are on a date doesn’t mean you have to be glued to them, you can take some time to regroup if you need time on your own. Make excuses to go to the bathroom, or take a phone call, or if online move away from the screen and have a breather
  • Practice relaxation techniques – This is hugely dependent on the symptom bothering you, but you may find practicing mindfulness and meditation helpful
  • Alternate between standing and sitting – Mixing up the activities on your date may help with symptoms such as tiredness and pain
  • Avoid alcohol
  • Keep snacks and drinks to hand – This can be helpful with nausea, dizziness and blood pressure issues
  • Cut the date short – If symptoms are too much there is no shame in cutting it short. Let’s be honest this is probably way better than carrying on and leaving an impression you are not interested because you are too distracted
  • Be honest – This is probably the thing that will benefit you the most in a dating scenario. Because let’s face it, it is obvious when someone isn’t enjoying themselves and unless you are a A-list actor you will probably have it written all over your face, and if you like them you really don’t want them thinking it is because of them. Being honest also allows your date to really understand not only you as a person, but your illnesses too. As cliched as this sounds you will know if they are the right one for you because they will be the one who accepts all of you – chronic illness and all – and they will be the one who sticks around long after a symptom filled date!

Here we have it my final challenges of dating with chronic illness. I hope you found this posts helpful and that they resonate with those of you who are single pringles like myself. This isn’t the end of the single life series as I would like to share further posts of my own experiences of the single life with chronic illnesses, and more posts surrounding dating, relationships, body changes and sex – so stay tuned. If there are any topics you would like me to cover in this series, as always just let me know.

Sarah xx

Chronic Illness · Mental Health · Symptoms

Getting Better – Fantasy vs Reality – Health Update

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Today’s blog post is a little bit different to normal as I am going to share with you what has happened to me over the last few weeks. I haven’t blogged for about two weeks which has been extremely difficult as blogging has given me a focus of late – a sense of feeling ‘normal’ again whatever normal means these days.

You may or may not know I have five chronic conditions all of which affect me in different ways and on different levels. I don’t say this much but sometimes having multiple illnesses is just plain hard what with having symptoms every single day and having to accept it. The point is though after many (and I mean many) years of denial I had started to accept them as being part of my life.

So why am I talking about this? Well recently I was placed on medication in relation to one of my conditions. This was the first time I had been offered any sort of medication for any of my conditions and was feeling positive about it. I was told the initial settling in phase may give me side effects, to which I accepted because I am so used to being ill what’s a bit more illness. But I got through the initial side effects even when at times I thought I wouldn’t because I had so much faith things would improve and it did. A few of my symptoms whilst they didn’t disappear seemed to be better and that was when I made the mistake of believing I was getting better.

Feeling small improvements in myself started making me overlook any issues with symptoms I had. Instead I was trying to convince myself that it wasn’t that bad, things were getting easier completely dismissing the fact that I have five conditions and this medication was only for the one – that and the fact it was only designed to help with a fraction of the symptoms associated with this one condition anyway.

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My desire to be cured made me push on and set myself targets that were way above my ability. But that wasn’t really the problem, the problem was around two weeks ago I started feeling really ill again and any improvements I saw seemed to be disappearing again. It was then I had a horrific evening and collapsed ending up with a visit from the paramedics. Recovery has been slow and it has taken a lot longer than expected, my body just seems its in a ‘meh’ state and finds functioning too much to deal with. To top it off my collapse may mean now I can’t stay on my medication and keep those small improvements it has made.

I don’t know why I collapsed and I am still awaiting test results, but part of me wonders if I pushed myself too much all in my quest to be cured. It’s sad because I have been unwell for so many years and yet here I am still waiting for that magic pill that is going to make it better. Waiting for that fairy tale ending where suddenly everything is going to fall into place and I can live a ‘normal’ life. But this isn’t a fairy tale this is reality and this is chronic illness.

I wont lie to you having my body fail me yet again did affect my confidence. I had so many plans in terms of things I wanted to blog about and get involved with and having my body back to a unfunctional state made me want to stop. I just felt like I had come so far and I was back at square one again. But I guess that same statement is why I am typing right now because I have come so far. Physically things are not great right now, but mentally I am getting back to a good place.

Whilst this might not mean much to others this blog is important to me and I am going to strive to continue so watch this space….

Chronic Illness · Fibromyalgia · ME/CFS · Mental Health · PCOS · Symptoms · Tourette Syndrome · UCTD

Symptom of the Week – Overview

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So for anyone who reads my blog regularly or dip in from time to time you will know I have been doing a symptom of the week segment for some time now. In fact I have just counted and it has been 17 weeks!

I thought I would give a round-up of the symptoms covered and which conditions they fall into. PLEASE NOTE not all people experience all symptoms and some people may find they are not relevant to their conditions at all. Remember we are all different and therefore experience different things. To view any of the symptoms click on the links below.

Symptoms associated with all my conditions: Although they are predominately associated with Fibromyalgia, ME/CFS, Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease (UTCD), they also help with my other conditions of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), Tourette Syndrome and Mental Health too.

Symptoms associated specifically with PCOS:

Symptoms associated specifically with Tourette Syndrome:

Symptoms associated specifically with Mental Health:

I myself still have other symptoms which I haven’t covered above including light/noise sensitivity and ulcers among many others- if people would find this helpful please let me know and I would be happy to create those pages too.

Equally if there are symptoms I haven’t mentioned which you would like me to add just let me know either in the comments section or on social media. x

Anxiety · Chronic Illness · Mental Health · OCD · Symptoms · Tourette Syndrome

Symptom of the Week – Obsessions and Compulsions

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This week is not so much symptom of the week, but condition of the week as OCD is a condition in itself.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder which many people have as a stand alone condition or alongside other conditions e.g. Tourette Syndrome. In a nutshell OCD is when a person lives in a vicious cycle of getting obsessive thoughts which cause anxiety that leads them to perform compulsive behaviour for short term relief.

For example a person may have obsessive thoughts about contamination which cause them anxiety so they compulsively and repetitively wash and clean to take away those intrusive thoughts. Another example is having obsessive thoughts that make you believe your actions may leave yourself or other people at risk causing you anxiety, so this leads to compulsive behaviour in the form of checking to make sure things are turned off and/or doors are locked.

My experience

For me OCD is a result of two things: my anxiety issues and my Tourette’s. In terms of anxiety I find being an anxious person I worry about a lot of things from worrying about germs to how my actions may affect someone else. Through the years I have built many compulsive behaviours to combat my obsessive thoughts. However this side of my OCD has improved in recent times and whilst I still do compulsive behaviours from time to time, (disinfecting anything in sight or getting out of bed repetitively to check things are turned off), the majority of my OCD now sits with my Tourette’s. My ticking goes hand in hand with my checking of lists and I tic whilst I check and need to tic if I don’t check – I can’t win!

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My top tips for Obsessions and Compulsions – as always please check with your doctor/specialist before trying any new tips/ideas.

  • Refocus your mind – I know this is really hard when you are in the mist of a obsessive/compulsion cycle, but try to engage your mind on something else. Be it an activity or a happy memory try to distract yourself and move away from your obsessive thoughts.
  • Ask your doctor about CBT – CBT Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a psychological therapy which focuses on the here and now. It teaches you how your thoughts have an impact on not only your emotions, but your behaviours too. Many GP surgeries now provide CBT or can inform you of courses in your area.
  • Speak to a counsellor – If you believe your OCD stems from a particular reason you may find a series of counselling sessions may help. Getting to the root of your problems may help not only your OCD, but your mental health in general. You can access counselling in a variety of different ways nowadays including face to face, telephone and video calling.
  • Get in touch with support groups – Joining a support group or accessing online information will help you to feel that you are not alone. Dealing with obsessive, intrusive thoughts can make you feel very lonely so seeing and hearing about other people’s experiences can help. Charities such as OCD-UK, Rethink and Mind are a great starting tool. To here about my own experiences you can read my article on my anxiety episode with germs here .
  • Build up your self-esteem and trust yourself – I find with my OCD a lot of the time I am looking for reassurance from others because I don’t trust my own instincts and therefore my own self. Realising you are capable of things and you can trust yourself as much as anyone else if not more will aid in your quest to combating your obsessions and compulsions.

Tourette’s related OCD

If you find your OCD is significantly related to your tics then you may find seeking help for your Tourette’s is more appropriate. You can find out more information on tics in my last post here . You can also find details of charities that may be able to help you further.

Chronic Illness · Symptoms · Tourette Syndrome

Symptom of the Week – Tics

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So this week is dedicated to my fellow tickers of the Tourette’s variety. According to the NHS website tics are involuntary sounds or movements. Tics can be sudden and difficult to control and usually start in childhood. For some people tics may disappear in adulthood however a significant number of people may find tics continue into adulthood with them.

Examples of physical tics can include: jumping, grimacing, eye rolling, jerking and blinking amongst other things. Whereas examples of vocal tics can include: whistling, coughing, animal sounds, grunting and tongue clicking. However there are an abundance of different tics depending on the individual.

For anyone learning about Tourette’s and tics for the first time it is important to know that not all people with tics swear! In fact people who experience swearing also known as Coprolalia are less common than people who don’t.

My experience

I am what I would call a motor ticker meaning my tics are physical and in my movements rather than verbal. I was diagnosed when I was about 18 which tends to be quite late after spending years being told I was epileptic. I am able to control my tics in public which I know some people are unable to do, but I suffer for this when at home as I have to release the build-up once I am back. This obviously causes havoc with my ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia as my muscles stiffen up when I tic.

My tics have evolved over the years although my current bundle include pacing whilst kicking out legs and arms, facial grimacing and holding my arms and hands stiff.

My top tips for tics – as always please check with your doctor/specialist before trying any new tips/ideas.

  • Manage stress levels – Stress and anxiety can make you need to tic worse. Try to identify any stressful triggers in your life and look at ways to overcome them. You can read my previous articles on modern day stress here and managing stress at home here for more tips.
  • Get good restful sleep – As with stress tiredness can elevate your ticking. Practice good sleep hygiene and make sure you get enough sleep and rest each night. For more information on good sleep hygiene you can read my article I’m not Lazy, I’m Fatigued here.
  • Find engaging activities – I have to admit I do struggle with this particular point because I find I need to tic in intense happiness as well as intense stress. However they do say focusing your mind on an activity can help your tics to subside. Consider activities such as puzzle books, craftwork and reading.
  • Find support through charities – A great tool to feel connected to others with tics and know you are not alone is to look on the websites of Tourette’s charities such as Tourettes Action based in the UK and The Tourette Organisation of America. These websites hold an array of information including information on symptoms, information for professionals and support groups. They can also give you more information on behavioural therapies that you may find of use.
  • Consider a medical card/bracelet – If your tics are severe you may want to consider carrying a medical card or wearing a medical bracelet. That way if you are in certain situations were your tics arise you can show the card/bracelet to others to show them they are a result of Tourette’s.
  • Embrace your tics – Whilst you can find ways to hide your tics and in some scenarios you may find this beneficial, I also think it is important to embrace them too. Tics don’t define you, but they are a part of you and you should never feel ashamed of who you are. Educate others by talking about your tics because the more people understand the real world of Tourette’s the more comfortable you will feel.

Next week’s symptom: OCD

Chronic Illness · PCOS · Symptoms

Symptom of the Week – Unwanted/Excessive Hair Growth

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We are on week two of PCOS Awareness month so today is another symptom related to PCOS: Unwanted/Excessive Hair Growth.

Hair growth is natural we all have it somewhere on our bodies at some point in our lives, but for PCOS sufferers this can be more than the average person. Excessive hair growth also known as hirsutism is often dark and thick and can appear anywhere on your body. The most common areas for this to occur are your face, neck, upper lip, chest, thighs, tummy, bum and/or lower back.

My experience

For a long time I hid my hair growth from anyone even my doctor because I found it so embarrassing, but then I realised I needed to be honest in order to get help with my diagnosis and other symptoms. Whilst I suffer from hirsutism in a certain area I also find that my ‘normal’ areas of hair growth grow back rather quickly. I can shave my legs one day and two days later it is visibly growing back. I guess that is one plus point for the colder weather – I get to cover up more and not have to keep thinking about any unwanted hairs showing!

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My top tips for unwanted/excessive hair growth – As always please check with your doctor/specialist before trying any new tips or ideas.

  • Identify your hair removal technique – There are so many ways nowadays to remove your hair – it’s just finding what suits you best. You need to ask yourself what’s important to you; do you want to do it yourself or go see a professional? Do you want something that is fairly straightforward, but may mean having to do it quite regularly or do you want something more fiddly in the short term, but may have longer results? You also need to consider where on your body you need to remove the hair and which technique would work best. The techniques you can explore include waxing, shaving, hair removal creams and plucking.
  • Decide if hair removal is what you want – Not everybody wants to remove their hair perhaps because they have to do it so often or because actually they don’t see it as a big enough issue. If this is the case you may consider bleaching techniques instead to lighten the hair. I have no experience of bleaching so you will need to do your own research if bleaching is something you want to explore.
  • Speak to your doctor/pharmacist about specific areas – If you have hirsutism in certain areas your doctor may be able to prescribe you creams which can help with the speed of your hair growth. Doctors can also discuss with you contraception options to help with your hormones based on your individual circumstances.
  • Review your lifestyle – People with PCOS tend to have higher androgen levels which can cause some of the horrible symptoms of PCOS. If you are overweight loosing just a slight bit of weight, (in the healthy way), can help to decrease your androgen levels and help with your unwanted hair.
  • Accept yourself for who you are – This is probably the most important tip of all, yet the hardest to master. Hair growth can be an embarrassing symptom, but once you accept it for what it is – a symptom of your condition – then you can start to take control on how it makes you feel. Feeling better in yourself mentally will help you deal with your body physically.

In conclusion, there is no rule book saying how you should deal with hair growth and it is up to you what you do about it. Whether you remove it, lighten it, keep it and embrace it; the choice is yours.

Next week is dedicated to my fellow tickers. I am talking Tourette Syndrome and next week’s symptom of the week is: Tics

Chronic Illness · PCOS · Symptoms

Symptom of the Week – Oily Skin/Acne

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Oily skin and acne are both symptoms which can be seen with the condition PCOS. This is because the condition can see an increase in certain hormones which can lead to a increase in sebum production resulting in oily skin and in some cases acne. Whilst oily skin and acne can appear anywhere on your body most women will notice outbreaks mainly on their face, chest and back.

My experience

Being a teenager who never had any major problems with my skin, it was a shock to notice my skin change in my late twenties. Certain areas of my skin are extremely dry due to certain conditions I have whilst my forehead, back and chest are oily thanks to PCOS. As a result the skin on my upper back and chest can get spotty and irritated which gets worse depending on the time of the month and in times of stress.

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

My top tips for oily skin/acne – as always please check with your doctor/specialist before trying any new ideas or tips.

  • Speak to your doctor/pharmacist – The first thing I would strongly recommend is speaking to your doctor or pharmacist about your specific skin problems. Remember to inform them of your PCOS so they will take notice this is an ongoing problem rather than a one off event. Depending on the severity of your skin problems they may be able to recommend specific products you can use as well as talk to you about specific hormonal treatments you can try.
  • Review your washing technique – Whilst it is important to wash your effected areas it is important to not over wash them. This is because if you have acne over washing (more than twice a day) can irritate your skin and start to make your skin dry. Using water that is too hot or too cold can also affect your skin, so try going down the middle and use lukewarm water.
  • Check your beauty products – Look through any beauty or makeup products you use and the ingredients in them. This is because some products can actually make the oil in your skin worse. Finding the right beauty products for you may be a case of trial and error and will be very dependent on your personal skin type. In terms of makeup I personally find powder based products better than liquid as they tend to last longer and diminish the oily look of my skin. You could also look for products which are non-comedogenic as they are less likely to block your pores.
  • Review your make-up – Another quick note about makeup is to make sure you remove all makeup before going to bed each night to avoid pore blocking. Also review how much makeup you are wearing because whilst your go to may be to cover up your affected areas it is also important to let your skin breathe.
  • Carry blotting papers – You can purchase blotting papers from most beauty retail shops which can be useful when out and about and your having an oily skin moment. Whilst these aren’t designed for regular use they can help on occasions to eliminate shine and absorb any troublesome oily patches.
  • Drink more water – Whether this helps with PCOS related skin issues is anyone’s guess, but drinking more water does help with your skin in general so it is definitely a help rather than a hinderance.
  • Look at your stress levels – As with most symptoms connected with chronic illness stress can play a big role in making them worse. For more tips regarding stress you can read my previous articles on modern day stress here and managing stress at home here.

Carrying on PCOS month next week’s symptom will be: Unwanted/Excessive Hair Growth